What to Do If Someone Says They Want to Die

Hearing someone say, "I want to die," can be one of the most confronting experiences a person will ever have.

Your first reaction might be fear, shock or uncertainty. You may worry about saying the wrong thing or feel pressure to immediately solve the person's problems.

The most important thing to remember is this.

You do not need to have all the answers.

What matters most is that you stay calm, listen carefully and take what the person is saying seriously.

Many people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts describe feeling isolated, overwhelmed or convinced that nobody understands what they are going through. When someone chooses to tell you how they are feeling, they are trusting you with something deeply personal.

How you respond in those first few minutes can influence whether they continue talking and whether they are willing to accept help.

At WorkPlace Interventions, our Suicide Preparedness online course teaches practical skills that help people respond confidently during these difficult conversations. Whether you are supporting a colleague, friend, family member or employee, knowing what to do can make an important difference.

Take every statement seriously

People sometimes dismiss comments about wanting to die because they believe the person is exaggerating, seeking attention or simply having a bad day.

That can be a dangerous assumption.

If someone says:

• "I don't want to be here anymore."
• "Everyone would be better off without me."
• "I wish I could just disappear."
• "I want to die."
• "I can't do this anymore."

Treat those comments as an invitation to start a conversation.

Even if the person is not planning to act on those thoughts, they are telling you they are experiencing significant emotional pain.

Listening with compassion is always the right response.

Stay calm

It is completely normal to feel anxious.

However, if you appear shocked or panic, the other person may decide they should stop talking.

• Take a slow breath.
• Speak calmly.
• Sit with the person if possible.

Your calm presence helps communicate that you are willing to listen, no matter how difficult the conversation becomes.

Remember that you are not expected to fix everything in one conversation. Your role is to support the person and help them access appropriate care.

Listen before you speak

When people feel uncomfortable, they often rush to offer advice. Statements such as "You'll be okay," "Things will get better," or "Just stay positive" are usually said with good intentions.

Unfortunately, they can unintentionally make someone feel misunderstood.

Instead, allow the person to explain what has been happening. Use simple responses such as:

• "I'm really glad you told me."
• "Tell me what's been happening."
• "That sounds incredibly difficult."
• "I'm here to listen."

Allow pauses. Avoid interrupting. Give the person time to express themselves in their own words.

Sometimes the greatest gift you can offer is simply your willingness to listen.

Ask directly about suicide

If someone tells you they want to die or expresses feelings of hopelessness, it is appropriate to ask directly whether they are thinking about suicide.

You might say:

• "When people feel the way you've described, they sometimes think about suicide. Have you been thinking about suicide?"
• "Are you thinking about ending your life?"

Many people worry that asking this question might encourage suicide. Research has consistently shown this is not the case.

Asking directly often helps people feel relieved that someone is prepared to talk openly about what they are experiencing. It also removes confusion. Using clear language allows you to better understand the person's situation.

If they say no

If the person tells you they are not thinking about suicide, continue supporting them. They may still be experiencing significant emotional distress.

You could respond with: "I'm glad you told me. It still sounds like you're carrying a lot right now. Let's talk about what support might help."

Encourage them to speak with their GP, a psychologist or another trusted health professional. Sometimes simply knowing someone cares can make it easier for a person to take that next step.

If they say yes

If the person tells you they are thinking about suicide, remain calm. Thank them for trusting you.

You might say:

• "Thank you for telling me."
• "I'm really glad you shared that with me."
• "You don't have to go through this alone."

Avoid reacting with shock or anger. The person has likely spent a long time deciding whether to tell anyone. Responding calmly encourages them to keep talking.

Understand how immediate the risk may be

After someone tells you they are thinking about suicide, gently ask a few more questions. For example:

• "Have you thought about how you would do it?"
• "Have you made any plans?"
• "Do you have access to what you would need?"
• "Have you thought about when you might act?"

These questions are not about investigating the person. They help you understand whether the situation requires immediate emergency assistance.

Someone who has a detailed plan, access to the means and intends to act soon requires urgent help.

Stay with the person if they are at immediate risk

If you believe someone is at immediate risk of suicide:

• Stay with them if it is safe to do so.
• Remove yourself from distractions.
• Do not leave them alone.
• Arrange immediate assistance.
• Call 000 if there is an immediate threat to life.

If possible, involve another trusted person so you are not managing the situation by yourself. Remember that emergency services exist to respond to situations exactly like this.

Encourage professional support

If the person is not in immediate danger, discuss ways they can access ongoing support. This might include:

• Making an appointment with their GP.
• Seeing a psychologist or counsellor.
• Contacting their Employee Assistance Program.
• Speaking with a trusted family member.
• Connecting with community mental health services.

Offer practical assistance if appropriate. Sometimes helping someone make the phone call or arrange an appointment is enough to reduce the barriers that stop them seeking help.

What not to say

Even with the best intentions, some responses can unintentionally increase feelings of shame or isolation. Try to avoid statements such as:

• "Other people have it worse."
• "You have so much to live for."
• "Think about your family."
• "Everything happens for a reason."
• "Just think positive."
• "You'll be fine."

These comments often minimise the person's experience. Instead, focus on understanding. Helpful alternatives include:

• "I'm really sorry you're going through this."
• "I'm glad you told me."
• "You don't have to face this on your own."
• "Let's work out what support is available."

Supporting a work colleague

Many people first disclose emotional distress at work. Managers and colleagues are often unsure how to respond.

If an employee tells you they want to die:

• Take them somewhere private.
• Listen without judgement.
• Ask directly about suicide.
• Stay calm.
• Encourage professional support.
• Follow your organisation's wellbeing procedures if appropriate.
• Seek emergency assistance if immediate risk exists.

Managers are not expected to become counsellors. Their role is to recognise concerns, respond appropriately and connect employees with support.

Looking after yourself

Supporting someone through suicidal thoughts can be emotionally challenging. After the situation has been safely managed, it is important to acknowledge your own wellbeing.

Consider:

• Talking with your manager if appropriate.
• Debriefing with a trusted colleague.
• Accessing your Employee Assistance Program.
• Speaking with your own healthcare professional if needed.

Looking after yourself is not selfish. It helps ensure you remain able to support others while protecting your own wellbeing.

Learning these skills before you need them

Many people only realise how difficult these conversations can be when they find themselves in the middle of one. That is why education matters.

The Suicide Preparedness course developed by WorkPlace Interventions provides practical, evidence informed training through interactive scenarios based on real workplace and community situations.

Participants learn how to:

• Recognise warning signs.
• Start supportive conversations.
• Ask direct questions about suicide.
• Understand levels of risk.
• Respond calmly.
• Encourage professional support.
• Know when emergency services are required.

The goal is not to make participants mental health professionals. The goal is to help them feel confident enough to respond when someone reaches out.

Frequently asked questions

One conversation could be the turning point

Most people never expect to hear someone say, "I want to die." When it happens, it is natural to feel uncertain.

You do not need to become an expert overnight. You simply need to stay calm, listen with compassion, ask direct questions when appropriate and help the person access the support they need.

Those actions may not solve every problem, but they can help someone feel less alone during one of the most difficult moments of their life.

The Suicide Preparedness online course from WorkPlace Interventions equips individuals, managers and organisations with practical skills to respond confidently when someone discloses suicidal thoughts. Through realistic learning and evidence informed guidance, participants build the confidence to recognise distress, have meaningful conversations and support people in accessing the professional help they deserve.